A most jovial welcome to all! Family, friends, enemies, daily massacrator of my favorite at work toilet *(see below for further detail), unlucky web-surfers... eh, who am I kidding? It's just you and I here E. But by golly this space shall be our sanctuary where naught but uncandid word be spoken! Let the digital ink flow freely.
I'd like to take this opportunity to first congratulate my cohort (and sister) in her first [and hopefully last :) ] engagement! I'm delighted in your happiness and wish the both of you many-a-happy day spent together.
Another congratulations is due for my cousin, engaged just a a few days prior to sister.
Oh, and thank you both for adding 1000 PSI each to my currently UN-ENGAGED relationship status.
Speaking of that un-engaged relationship, and to the chagrin of the lady, I'll be heading to my local Hooters for a basketball team meeting tonite. Believe it or not, the decision was mostly contingent upon their excellent pitcher and wing specials. Don't believe it?
http://dc.metromix.com/restaurants/americanAs
Chew on that smart guy. In lieu of our recent team-skid we're seeking a refuge devoid of distraction to discuss strategy -- and we all know Hooters is devoid of distraction. No-brainer.
* And now a short rant on bathroom massacrator(ists): Look, we work in a law firm. I am not THE youngest person here, but I'm damn near close to it. That means that the odds of you being under 25 years old are extremely slight. By using some deductive reasoning I will go ahead and say that you've been practicing using the urinal/toilet for at least 25 years. Which begs the question, what ape is responsible for teaching you to urinate? Not only do you entirely miss the target, but you piss all over the floor. Now when I exit the bathroom I'm tracking your urine around the office and into my home. Unless you were raised by nuns, have a mental disability, or suffer from unstable penis syndrome (all of which I highly doubt due to the hilarity I'd already be enjoying on your behalf), you have NO EXCUSES. Piss in the toilet, not on it. And for god sake just remember, "leaves of three, let them be," "logs of brown, flush them down." Get your shit together. Then get rid of it.
To conclude this first post, I will say that I'm not sure of the form this beast is going to take, but I'm excited to witness its evolution. Stay tuned, plenty more to come (and I don't want to make false promises, but I can almost guarantee Erin will have some beautiful photos and stories from her Jamaica trip). It's been a pleasure, and the pleasure's all mine.
Ballet
6 years ago
Speaking of Bathroom Etiquet, I know homeless people don't have bathrooms... wait. scratch that, they have a public urinal on every tree in proximity. Any park in DC is fair game, I've seen, it's gross. However, Homeless people! Yes I am talking to you. Don't Poop on the doorstep to my apartment! I know it is well hidden and provides a great brick wall to squat against whilst the dead is done. But seriously. There is a port-a-potty two blocks away. I really don't enjoy the steaming pile of turd you left that wafts right up to my window ac unit, turning my apartment into a bio-diesel plant. At least he/she had the decency to wipe his/her butt with paper towels. I know because they are in a pile next to the doo-doo. Thank you homeless people. Now when I walk by you on the street and you ask for money, I won't just say no, I will jingle the change in my pocket as I go.
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